Janet Van Dyne as the modern celebritante; heiress and star of her own reality show. She even has her own clothing line. So after the attack on New York superheroes were supertrendy, so she decided to get some superpowers.
One of the show’s PAs digs up a failed grant proposal from a Dr Henry Pym and the entire show crew descends on his tiny postdoc office, Janet at the lead. She offers to sponsor his research into size-changing-thingy, and he goes off on a huge speech about how it’s so much more than that, and talks about the entymological research possibilities, and this prototype device for communicating with ants he’s got plans for somewhere.
It all makes for horribly boring TV until Janet flips over the sketch pad she’d been working on while Hank rambled, saying 1) no ants for her, thank you and 2) she was thinking something more like this. Hank stares at the sketch pad and says wings? And Janet says yes, duh, can’t walk everywhere when you’re tiny. And the things coming out of her fists, Hank asks. “Energy bolts! Pew-pew-pew,” Janet replies, making little. punching motions.
And this begins a huge argument that the director and cameraman can see will make for awesome TV, especially when Hank storms out of the office, then storms back in, and tries to throw them out.
In the end, Janet wins, and Hank agrees to provide her with superpowers with wings AND energy blasts if she’ll fund him.
And the next few weeks require a lot of editing, as a lot of it is Janet lurking around Hank’s lab while he stares into screens and microscopes. Though there is the occasional revival of the original argument when Hank runs into an obstacle with the wings and tries to use that as an excuse to ditch the idea, or when Janet shows Hank the outfit she designed for his bug research (“Spandex?” “Spandex!”).
And eventually the big day comes, and the Janet steps into the treatment chamber after finishing her last course of DNA-rewriting boosters, and boom! It works. They work! The director is overjoyed to finally escape the same damn setting (all the interesting shots are taken), and Hank is just sitting dumbstruck with a smile on his face as Janet laughs and flies around the room.
Then AIM bursts through the wall, tosses a flashbang, and kidnaps Hank, because they’d been watching the show too. Superpower-granting scientists are in demand.
When they come to, the director has two regrets. One is that most of what Janet said before flying after AIM will have to be cut for language. The girl has a mouth. Second, and most painful, is that the miniature wristmounted camera he’d blown a big chunk of the budget on is still in its case.
Then he yells at the audio engineer about what the range is on Dr Pym’s wireless mike, and can they find out which way it went.
farmer-10 asked: Is Joel Watson okay with you having running gags and inside jokes with other Webcomic artists? Are you two not exclusive?
I like to make him jealous from time to time. He takes me for granted.
WHAT OTHER CARTOONISTS, DAVID?! WHO ARE THEY?! WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THEM?! IS THAT SHARPIE ON YOUR COLLAR?!
MAYBE IF YOU PAID ATTENTION TO WHAT I TALK ABOUT WHEN I TELL YOU ABOUT MY DAY YOU’D HAVE A PRETTY GOOD FUCKIN’ CLUE
-plays LL Cool J’s “I’m That Type of Guy” while advancing on David-
HOPE SOMEONE’S TAKING SOME NOTES
Honey, only note he needs is a “Dear Joel” letter.
Men who are progressive, profeminist, or allies to women — we have to constantly check ourselves. We have to be open and listen to women and sometimes respond by taking a backseat and not encroaching on female space in ways that are kind of natural to us. It’s so integrated into who we are as men: to take center stage, to lead, to be out front, to not really understand the power dynamic that’s at play. I think it’s really important for all of us men who are progressive and who are working to eradicate sexism and all the other social ills out there to be a lot more cognizant of our presence in these circles and spaces.
why the fuck does everyone in the purge movies want to kill people if crime was legal i’d find a way to erase my student debt and also probably steal a bunch of new clothes
Same. Also really nice computers for me and my friends, and a costco run. Who wants to share a free costco run somebody bring a truck let’s go get some appliances I want a juicer. Probably we’ll do an ikea run as well bc what the hell it’s only one day a year.
yes, but if you get lost in the IKEA labyrinth for over 24 hours, you have to pay for all the swedish meatballs you ate and that model bathroom
You’re clearly not old enough to have children if you’re thinking of naming them after anime characters or some shit
when sasuke inuyasha grows up he’s gonna kick your ass for talking shit
My daughter goes to school with a boy named Kenshin, this ship sailed at least ten years ago.
I’m named after an Ayn Rand character….like saphire dance said, this ship sailed about four thousand years ago
I was named after a dog my parents had who ran away a little while before I was born.
Needless to say, certain relevations in Last Crusade made me happy.
Yeah, conservatives do the right thing for once and then get pissy when a democratic president enforces it.
They have fallen so deep into the hole of obstruction that they themselves have dug that they have no other alternative but to keep it up, even if it destroys the country.
An FYI, since I wasn’t familiar with this law: Bill Clinton signed the first version of this law in 2000, and W. reauthorized it three times during his presidency. Obama reauthorized it once, more than a year ago.
So, yes. Conservatives are mad Obama is following the law. Conservatives are mad Obama is doing anything. Conservatives are mad because Obama.
Anyone who thinks the migrant children escaping the drug war that we created should be deported or treated like criminal elements is a monster. These are children. Fuck, people, even Glenn Beck wants us to treat them with love and dignity. Even if the U.S. government weren’t required to immediately resettle undocumented children, we have obligations as human beings to help these children.
Just, fuck anyone who has any objection to these children. Fuck each and every one of them.